Disappointment

2008 started shaky..... yes things seems well...

but so much negativity lingering around.... Pack schedules not helping... constant week end disappointments over minor things keeps creeping round.... a week end of hope often turns bad easily for me... I wonder why??

Maybe its wrong relationships, wrong expectations, wrong approach??

I find my self saying so many things that I my self recently failed to hold up to... Yet there was favour.

Prayer is simple but prayer is nothing without faith. I said that... but I fail to hold up to it... I fail to have that faith that is needed to push that simple prayer and see it happen... doubts.... questions of why how come... how can...?? always arises sigh....WOE to me who is a hipocrite...

The burden of lives creeps up on me... what to do?? Wisdom has been given By Him.... but why do I feel so lousy..?? I feel like I've been call to be there for this people... how can I be light if I can't just keep shining as a miserable candle??

My heart aches terribly... Why so?? where is the hope...

Persevere in time of dryness.... sounds like what I will keep doing... but the question is am I really dry or just down?? Why do I feel capable at the same time miserable like hell....

Maybe you can help me... Just maybe....

But then again.... how could you if you seem like you are in your own world doing your own thing.... of course u deserve it... but realy how la?? At the same time I know ... you mite need some one too but I can be totally ignorant about it. Why??? Communication??

Driving around is fine with the right company.... but to drive home alone every single day... staring blankly thinking lousy thoughts.... difficult... sigh... looking at things going to a Home that will be lonely... with nothing more than a mere computer as a partner.... one which has no soul.... How Stupid is that.... What else is there to do?? Looking at yet another screen?? doubt so...?? Read a page of words...??? Seriously doubt so

Sigh All but a little bit of faith, A little bit of hope.... just maybe the wounds that hurt mite heal in time.... wounds that are internal that no one would know off.... Except Him who is mighty...

I need to snap out of this mode.... I can't afford it... people cant afford it...

Desperation

Excellent times and free times never seem to make us appreciate thing as always

Its always a dark time or a time of desperation where everything seems to become clearer.
Hope comes by having faith. Faith in the little things that you have. Are not the small things important to you too?

Why not let go of worries that doesn't seem to matter? Why not Hold to what you know you are capable off? Why act strong when you know you are bound for trouble??

Destruction comes not in a ball of fire but a spark of something small. Often in the failure of the small thing its that the bigger stuff seems all hopeless and bound for destruction. We drown our self in a glass of water just because we refuse to continuously salvage or fix even the tap to our big pool.That's when its the worst. Its as if killing your self isn't bad enough. You want to kill your self the hard way


A little hope and trust won't hurt. Ill thoughts and miss interpretation of words brings you down the most. What the use of dreaming so much just to miss the opportune moment to act and move just because of some minor issues with feeling of your heart?

We really don't need pain to get the Gold. No Pain No GAin?? not always....

Free yourself from crutches when you know you are already healed. Have faith that your feet will hold you up.

To You there is hope. To you there is love. To you is wisdom that comes from no man. To you comes the comfort of a thousand angels.

Its been a while

Its been such a long time since I updated, hahah amazing how people's been visiting this place....

Er things thats gone by

Mock Exam, Ps Steven's Bday, Tab 's bday, Sarah Tay's bday

Christmas practice been boring.... Long hours of singing Its a merry Christmas eve and I hardly can belive... How the time does fly since the year gone by since we trimmed the Christmas

Its really time to reflect on the whole year and notice if anything significant or instrumental in your life has occurred or happened... If nothing good has come out so far, its surely high time you make use of the final few months left of 2007

Recap the highlights of this year
AIM Youth Leadership course 2007
Such a wonderful experience... The friendships built and what I've learnt have brought me so much further in life...

Start of CAT course
Not that great but instrumental to a great future

nothing else that great but plenty of memorable times

AIM mission trip
Youth Easter Service
AIM graduation
Times we just went out and run around town
First day of college
Dinners weddings... not many but a few

Friends grew closer, responsibilities greater, Family well ok lar I guess. no complains

I shall update pics soon lar.... My Nokia pc suit giving me problem.... Really wanna change to a Sony Ericsson Phone.... See how things go... argh....


Owh well done to Chi last week... They put up an excellent drama... and Joel Shared a good message...

mite put up the video if i can la... haha ow well... thats it..

Came and Gone

Hmm exams has came and gone.... much more a few weeks ahead ... Good times and bad times... came and gone.... leaving life pretty much neutral.... then again its said that the way you view situations will be the way it turns out to your self... Interpretation seems to be everything....



Last Saturday had porridge steam boat with the AIM people... They are Jan Wong, Sarah Tay, Jonathan Yee, Vivian Tan, Eliza Wong, Kenny Ng, Eric Marc, Joshua Yap, Asher Park, Rachel Hoo, Azalea and mua self... Sad Darren Yong, Emmylou, Tab, Benedict and Sophie couldn't make it...

looks good eh?? ahhah

Was working on a gift for Melody past week... to busy to start painting so I got Glow in da dark stuff and started some scribbling.... anyways... here it is

Yes it actually glows... not that fancy... but well I guess its the thought that counts Going to paint some other things on it as well.. hopefully It turns out nice instead of ugly la...

Okie erm... lets see what else to write about...

Ahh went watch Resident Evil 3... really not bad... excellent show... nice erm action... not for the weak hearted I guess....

Hmm... when facing problems... take a look around.... When u realise that there is no human way to solve your problem... Pray about it for only God can break that barrier of pain or problem... thats about it lar... tutup kedai....

update time....

Its been a while since I blogged... Nothing much worth wild to blog about.... anyways... since the last time I blogged

1. I painted my room blue....

Its blue.. not purple....

2. Made a puzzle to be hung up in my room....

yes its actually now framed up and all nice.... haven't bothered to go and snap a picture of it

3. Went to a lantern fest with fellow youth


4.The end.... !!!


See nothing much... items can count with one hand.... o.O

I haven't been learning English and I guess I would never learn English ever again.... So.... naturally... its getting much much worst..... I got bad spelling syndrome... I got corrupted with unknown words... sad isn't it

Back to playing basketball after a long time.... yes need to loose weight.... I'm soooo much fatter than I used to be... yes I think its true.... fat fat fat.... need to lose it as soon as I can... fortunately since I restarted balling... my stamina has regained a little... i tell u .. first day.. GG.com

Many b'days coming up..... Melody's, Kevin, Cheryl's .. ok 3... only... I think... hmmm ow well... what ever la rite.... lalala shall update some 'articles' tomorrow or so....

suckkie week but I hope to make it better by dinnering with aim mates.... Yes I'm actually using u all to make my week enjoyable.... other wise... its.... lecture lecture.. classes bla bla bla.... lan exam.... and another 2 additional exams.... ahhaha....

Ow well not really lar.. genuinely wanted to gather and well have fun.... aih

That's it... tata

Food Food Food

Esquire Kitchen....

There was one more dish but I was to hungry so I didn't bother taking pics of it

Tgi Fridays





the pictures aren't that good cause It was dark and I was superbly hungry.. so I just snapped and nyam nyam nyam

exams coming soon... This week end..... ow well

Heart of 'Praise'

What do you do when favour finds you.... Nothing just go with it and do as you are called... basically that's how it is....

Last Tuesday went watch Rush hour 3 with Eliza, Khar En and Melody... the movie was great... amusing yet not boring...




We went for some cheese baked rice at Wong Kok Char Chan Teng... And i had some drink which I forgot the name...

Got my self a nice blue pencil

Its not bad... hmm....

Was just lingering about this thoughts the past few days... When you are numb or a better word would be desensitized to that of the world, You discover that when God shows up... instantly you would feel him cause you feel nothing else.... whats in actually fact is actually that you're so high in God's presence that you feel nothing else...But God..

A plain sheet of paper seems plain.. but if u dot a blue dot on it... instantly you notice it... When it comes to God and if you are as clean as a sheet... and because when God shows up ... his presence is so great... its almost impossible if you aren't a plain sheet to feel him...

But the truth is whats in actually fact is actually that you're so deep in God's(sensitive) presence that you feel nothing else...But God.. so when you feel so down and blue.... but you are so able to sense God.. you are not actually drifting away.. in fact you are closer than you think you are...

ok now with being caught up with feeling only God's presence.... Our praises to him really shouldn't be just feelings of the moment..... music is great but we really shouldn't praise out of feelings.. that is childish...

The heart of 'worship' is bathing in God's holy presence seeking his presence and him alone...

Now what is the heart of 'praise'?? Its got to be more than feeling Good music... Praise is about thanks giving... tenacity which means persistence and perseverance and faith....

Many have understood about the heart of Worship.. what about the heart of praise which up to now.... Has not been discovered and used fully in God's worship...

I believe that nothing great can come out of something old.... But new things has a great way of blooming into something beautiful....

When u feel nothing but God.... The love you have for anything else... is so clear.... undeniable... Truth is in front of you and its close to impossible to get your feelings wrong... The love that God plants in you for some one else.... can never be mistaken... what do yo do... sow that there will be a great harvest of joy... hopefully... if it is accepted...

A packed weekend, hopeless weekday...

Last week end... a great week end... supposedly great week end la...

Friday was conference week.... the sessions was good... Activities was good... stuff given was good... everything else was good...
but.... ow well....

Saturday night out with mom... went to chillies

had bbq ranch burgers... superb I tell you


Suppose to go have a look at spectacles .. instead mom went look at specs.. bought her self a good pair and well i haven't gotten mine

Next morning church... Youth Choir was signing in DH morning service... Mr Bernard Blessing was around. We sang at the cross... the tenors had an echo part which turned out disastrous.. so for 2nd service we din't bother attempting at the echo...

Mr Blessing was good... He reminded us of well .. the key thing I remembered... The longer the delay... the greater the harvest.... Aih hopefully...

Then went play basketball in the evening... the ball hit my finger and I think it got twisted... now its nicely swollen and painful... can't bend fully... superbly pain


Today the 27th of August is my Bro's bday... celebrated for him... sort off la... morning had classes.. how boring... Evening went down to KL to have dinner with my bro lar... we bought him a few stuff he likes... Famous Amos cookies... Ba qua(roasted meat)... a new mouse.... Hugo Boss perfume... and.... brought him for dinner at TGI Fridays after his class....

Got my self the mouse I wanted already...

cool isn't it??

Hmm ow well that's for that.. haven't gotten my speakers.... sadly..

Hmm... aih.. very much disappointed a so many things... I wonder .. why does my life seems so complicated when some one near by can be so carefree and happy... so blessed... so favored by so many around... I get a lot of things... computer stuff and all.. but really I fork out a lot of my savings over months to get what I want...

There isn't much joy to that really... The joy I'm looking for really is different.. doesn't seem to come by...

Many times I really hope to get much closer to you.. you know who u are... but .. it really is hard... I feel so stupid.. I mean really... I think I always say the wrong things at the wrong time to you and its more of an irritation than anything else... I expect nothing.. but please do let me know if u would... I really care for you.. and i would like to show it ... if you would let me... sounds crummy?? yeah.. I know.. but really its genuine... I hope I know u as it really seems..

A lot of things been sucking bad the past year.... there is only hope and faith to keep things going...

Great Success

Hmm the mobo(mother board) arrived....

after 3 weeks i think....


The minute i got it.. came home.. started big boys lego... fixing the pc together.. fairly simple.... took about an hour... the only thing tricky is the tiny things that u wont know suppose to go where

after a grueling hour of lego... (fixing stuff together to build something else that is) tada!!!!




its much smoother than my older pc... much better looking.... I'm happy with it...

So yeah.. great success

The Epic Saga

Once upon a time...... there lived a tikus.... that .... ahh whatever lar rite....

that little dude looks cute...

So here's the tale of my brand new pc.... Decided to buy a hunk of parts to fix up a new pc... the old pc give to bro... let him use... few reasons...

A) I want a new pc for fun
B) He doesn't have to come into my room in the middle of the night and use my pc...
C) I'm just treating my self... so yeah

The whole thing costs about.... 2.9k

ok processor... Core 2 Duo 2.33 ghz....
Graphic card Winfast 7800gt tdh 256mb ddr3



hdd seagate 320 gb
rom drive Sony something something...
Psu Coolermaster
Mobo Gigabyte GA-P35-DS3


2x1GB Kingston DDR2 667 ram
smilodon casing




what else?? that's about it i think..

things i wanna get... erm ....

Razor mouse copper head



5:1 channel speakers by creative


all great stuff... but yar no money aih... soon lar...


Now for the best part... supposedly all these parts should make a magnificent pc... but guess what.... The mobo is missing in action... The supplier www.gg.com.my.edu.net/masukhospital/dunnowhy/MIA

so yar no mobo means no pc.... I had nice shelves from ikea made and put in my room so if i get the speakers i can do the wiring properly and make it a nice surround sound... but guess what... no money to buy speakers.. and no MOBO yet.. adui...

Hmm ok done about the pc...

Things been very very sucky and frustrating... That feeling of being insignificant always plays around the mind... People u want to be close to are so distant and the rest are just ok.. yeah there are good friends around... but some how many friends just never seem to say the right things.... the most intelligent things that just defines everything else... things that motivate at the same time make u feel accepted yet not stepped on...

I doubt there is one person that can tell at least 70% about my self... talk to me and try to prove it wrong if u would... but yar.. not much point in that either.. aih..

All the best to all classmates for tomorrow PT2 for p1 and p2... suck....